Mommy-hood can be fun but sometimes it can be scary. My aim with this blog is to be clear and honest about being a mom while giving you the resources to survive your life. With the scary and accurate details, you will come to realize that, it’s not that scary after all. But I can say I was more than a little bit surprised when I found out about these 6 Scary and Weird Pregnancy Symptoms about being a new mom that nobody told me.
1. You’re only comfortable for 3 months
Let me start from the beginning. Pregnancy. During pregnancy, I was miserable like most women in the first 3 months. I felt like a parasite the size of a pea was taking over my life and body. Nausea, nausea and more nausea it was horrible, where was the joy? Where was the bliss? Lost at the bottom of the toilet…. humph.
What they didn’t tell me was that your only comfortable for 3 months out of the nine between 3-6 months. After that you get so huge you start to do double takes in random mirrors.
2. Your joints are muscles don’t work like normal
Water knees are what I call the sensation. You know when your joints are so loose you can feel them slightly buckle under the weight of your enormous belly. Not to mention the most painful muscle contracts that must be the end of your life.
3. Your Smell Changes
Then you smell, yes smell! With baby number two I smelled like a sailor gone to sea for 2 weeks in the sun eating fish. My armpits smelled, my shoe smell my vajayjay smelled too.
Oh, my that was the most unsettling. What was going on down there? I have to laugh so hard now when my husband saw me naked for the first time after about 5 months of being pregnant. He was staring at me with wide eye wonder, to say the least, and then proceeded to ask me what was wrong with my privates. Wrong? He continued, why were they swollen. Yes, your vagina swells to about 3 times the normal size. The doctor said it was the excess of blood flowing in that area. But that was so weird and nobody told me anything about that.
4. Vaginal Childbirth is scary
So you know about the pain and the discomfort, the breathing exercise and blah blah blah; but what they didn’t tell me was that after you had a vaginal birth your vagina is useless. Yep, useless, along with your bladder. Kim Kardashian said it was like throwing a sausage down a hallway!
You will have no capacity to hold anything together. I can remember after I had my first daughter I was sitting on the bed talking to some friends. I remembered wanting to pee and the sensation going away, needless to say, I didn’t go potty for another 10 minutes. I just thought I will go after my friends leave. When they left, I got up to stand and everything just gushed out! *insert horrific nightmarish experience here* I tried clenching to stop the flow, pppshhhhh nothing happened, I was totally embarrassed and mortified! Why the hell didn’t someone tell me that!
5. Breastfeeding is not for weaklings
Breastfeeding was more painful than the contractions it’s not quite a pregnancy symptom but its pretty out there. I had blisters on my areolas that bled from every little irritation around the area. Then there was the latching on, Oh gosh golly I literally saw stars when my baby clamped down on my sore nipples. Did I mention that painful tug in your womb the first couple of weeks when your baby is nursing? It’s like contractions all over again. That’s good though, Those contraction type pains are so that your womb shrinks down to size while your baby happily sucks milk. Yup!
6. There is something called Baby Acne
I woke up one morning with my baby’s face riddled with ripe pus-filled pimples over her eyelids and cheeks. By the end of the day, her entire face was covered with those ugly critters, needless to say, I was freaking the hell out! Of course, as a new mom, I thought to myself, what the hell did I do now? What did I miss? Good, grief the stress!
So, of course, being the A-type personality I am, my next step was to hit the Google doctor! Oooooof course the pics they have online are super duper scary and did nothing to calm me down. It just riled up my emotions for another 4 hours. Later on in the day a friend came over and confirmed what I suspected, my baby had baby acne.
Here are the facts as given by Google, just Incase this hits you:
Baby acne or Milia is pretty common, it happens to most newborns usually in the first 3 weeks of life, it doesn’t bother the little one so don’t make it bother you……*rolls eye*, and it continues.
Acne in a newborn does mean your little one will have acne as a teenager, Acne is genetic and if mommy and daddy didn’t have acne then teenage little one won’t have it either.
Then, finally, leave the pimples alone just clean once a day with mild soap and water and they will go away on its own. I used the Glycerine soap and it worked super.
Funny thing is, when I read up on having a newborn, baby acne was NOWHERE on the list of things that your suppose to expect, baby acne never came up, not once. I’m saying since its soo darn “common” it should come right after ‘how to swaddle your baby’ and right before ‘how to give your baby a bath’ I’m jess saying!
What got me through this time in my life was keeping a journal. I wrote down everything I was going through. I was able to be as candid as I want to be, here is a free printable you can start with.
I also signed up for BabyCenter and the mommy community got me through the rough patches. I got working examples of what to do about every minor and major thing to do with the baby and some tips on being a good partner to daddy dearest. Check them out.
With all the Scary and Weird Pregnancy Symptoms that I mentioned, would I have decided not to have kids because I knew? Heck yes! Being a mom, for me, is fulfilling in little ways I won’t be like most moms and tell you it’s the single most inspiring thing I’ve ever done, it was quite an experience and I enjoyed my pregnancy and sometimes I enjoy being a mom.
The point is, each persons experience is vastly different from the other and you can choose to make it a bomber or you can enjoy being fat and eating anything you damn well please and then after, you will have a cute miniature you to pass on a whole lot of knowledge to, so they can make this world way better than you and I did.