I know the topic may read 7 Ways To Overcome Low Libido After Child Birth, but this has helped other women suffering from the same issue that was not linked to childbirth. I haven’t done a baby related post in some time, I wanted the right topic to talk about and even this lovely topic took a few days to put together properly, especially being that women who suffer from Low Libido after childbirth is such a taboo topic.
For some sex is a touchy topic, for me “bring it on”, I am so fortunate that I have a group of women who just break out the popcorn and raisinettes to chat about their sexual issues and concerned quite vividly!
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After having a baby some topics are a little more sensitive, especially to none mothers. Your Vajayjay now takes on, let’s say a new personality if you will. Everything changes about it, how it looks feels and smells. Note, these aren’t necessarily bad things they are just…different. It takes some Vajayjays longer to bounce back than others, be patience mommy your body was made for childbirth so you will be just fine.
The Shock of Low Libido after Child Birth
The most surprising thing for me after childbirth was suffering from Low Libido…I mean I had NO sex drive…none, gone, finish, kaput!. Of course, this was clearly not a MAJOR concern for me I was laser focused on my daughter, getting the baby to sleep through the night, changing her and not to mention how horrible breastfeeding was in the initial stages. Sex who? But sure enough husband dearest notice it spot on.
I had a few issues and I was really afraid to say anything. I could not switch my mind off from being a mom to being my usual sexual self. My baby touched my breast and sucked on it for milk and my brain was now wired for her needs and no longer for the need to get pleasure from my breast. 8 years later and I still have difficulty making that mental switch. If you’re already on birth controls this may be a factor why you have a low libido. Some birth controls will decrease your drive for sex, speak to your doctor and consider changing the pills or finding an alternative means of birth control.
Here are some tricks and tips that work for me, with support, of course from your partner, if you’re single then you won’t have this issue then would yah, but it will be fun to start to prepare to be back in the saddle. I’ve always thought “In the saddle,” such a rough term, anyhow let’s get into it:
1. Scheduling Sex to Increase Your Low Libido
Sex HAS to be a priority, it had to be that thing that I literally put on my to-do list and check off when completed. Here’s a thought make a tracker in your bullet journal for how often you actually do have sex. A tracker will give you a visual of how bad things are and start conditioning your mind to fix the issue. If you’re not sure how to get started or what is a bullet journal I have a checklist you can download here. I had to schedule Sex. Like, write down, set alarm and a special ringtone with reminders the day before to get it on. After a while, it will all come back and you will fall into a nice rhythm
2. Sexy Clothes and Sexy Books
I had to take my self-esteem into my own hands like a stubborn bull that needs self-building tools to be better. I started shopping for lingerie, I particular like these affordable types and they do something to making every body type. Taking the baby to get my toes done, get my face made up in the mall while I pick up stuff for the baby. I even took my baby on coffee dates. I went for energetic walks, read raunchy books. I suggest 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy, relax it’s more about love than bondage…but what’s wrong with a little bondage. Wink Wink
3. Do A Photo Shoot
This was the hardest thing I had to do. It took guts and a lot of self-reassurance and some MAJOR support from my partner. One of the most confidence building activity I did was a photoshoot. A postnatal photoshoot. I worked with a lady photographer who was also a mom and I did poses and wore garments that just made me feel absolutely sassy. I showed by scared belly my extra full breast and I stared at the photos and just appreciated how awesome my body was to give birth. Extraordinary and life-changing. I displayed my photographs in an album I bought just for me and hubby.
4. Get Help With Baby
Allowing daddy to do his part was a game changer. I ended up being the gatekeeper for the baby and manager of all the chores and tasks. If you are overworked and exhausted you won’t be in the mood for Sex… ever! I had to understand when I needed to ask for help from the neighbour, daddy, mom, mother in law, besties and well-wishers I could trust. Calling on help allowed me to REST and SLEEP and REST some more and take some time to put on deodorant.
5. Set the Mood
Setting the mood for romance was a big deal for me. I found that if I conditioned my mind from in the morning that I’m gonna get busy tonight, I would build up anticipation for the night’s events. I start with preparing a meal, lighting candles wearing that raunchy lingerie or reading a few pages of a romantic novel, then I would be more open for intimacy. If your having an issue coming up with ideas for a date night grab my date night activity sheet here. Oh it’s free
6. Build up the Feeling
We are emotional beings, women tend to be sexually aroused mentally first then we get to the touching and what not. Sexting throughout the day is a major way to build up the mindset for sex later. Send a raunchy picture of your breasts, angle the camera, filter the shit out of it, do whatever you need to do to ensure that you feel great about the picture then send it to your beau for a tantalizing sexting experience throughout the day. This will keep you in the mode of sex for the entire day.
7. More is More
Remember that sex begets sex. Having sex raises your natural testosterone levels and as such boosts your libido which will help you get back into the swing….So get back on that bicycle and start a “riding” no pun intended. Set the mood, music, scented candles and
If you’re doing all these things and still no libido then go see your OBGYN. Here’s what I can tell you. Your body is changing day by day. Today it will corporate and tomorrow it will shock you. I had to learn to just expect anything and deal with each stage one day at a time. I good resource that helped me loads was
Baby Centre sent emails every week up until my baby was a toddler and the community aspect of it was ideal to find moms in your area that was going through similar situations. The mothers in the Baby Centre Communities were very vocal and opinionated. Be very clear with your questions and watch the overwhelming support you will receive there are other women suffering from having a low libido.
WHILE YOU’RE HERE… CHECK THESE OUT
Since you here. Don’t forget to download my Dating Guide. Also if you have toddlers or big kids grab that Morning Routine Checklist to make your life a little easier. I haven’t forgotten about the Mommy’s, with a mountain high to-do list go ahead and grab that Bullet Journal Starter Kit and organize the heck out of your life.