Breaking up is hard. Whether you are the one that was dumped or did the dumping, it is hard to keep your emotions in check. I have been there, after 17 years with my kid’s dad he dumped my ass and went on to a newer model. Sounds bitter right. Letting go was not easy for me I had to go through the emotions and memories. I had a hard time analysing my feelings. After a few years, I did get to a point I could see the light. Here are my 10 Tips to Get Over a Bad Breakup.
10 Tips to Get Over a Bad Breakup
1. IT REALLY IS NOT THAT DEEP
It may act as if the reasons behind the breakup are some big deep mystery. Don’t beat up yourself with 50 questions of whether they loved you enough or if you could have done something differently. Whatever reason your ex gave you for the breakup, accept it. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter why your relationship ended, did you do all you could to make it work? Then that is all that matters.
2. WRITE DOWN HOW YOU FEEL
Journal, journal, Journal! If you are into visualizations, it could be helpful to write down all the reasons your ex was wrong for you/your relationship didn’t work out. Seeing everything down on paper in front of you can make it much easier to come to terms with why things didn’t work out and why that’s probably for the best.
3. HOW LONG DO YOU MOURN A LOST LOVE?
That is completely up to you. You are in control of how long it takes you to pick up the shattered pieces of your heart and move. You can also choose not to stuff your face with comfort food and sulk and cry.
4. BREAKUPS ARE PRETTY SEVERE
Studies have shown that the withdrawal of romantic love activates the same mechanisms in the brain as an addict going through withdrawal from substances like cocaine or opioids. With that kind of knowledge you should expect that breakups affect us very severely and acknowledging that is important to moving on.
5. BE REALISTIC
“Memories dont live as people do.” Sure, you may have had good times with your former partner, but your relationship ended for a reason so there’s no sense in pretending otherwise. You will conjure up memories of your happiest weekend together or that great gift he bought you for whatever reason. I am sure if you think about you will remember as well from that weekend that drove you crazy and upset you tremendously. If you find yourself longing for their sweet embrace, you should remember the nights they rejected our advances and slept on the far edge of the bed.
6. GETTING DUMPED SUCKS MUCH MORE
Blindsided. Shocked. Suprised. Dumb. Those are just a few of the words that come to mind when you are the one that was dumped. Being dumped by your ex, especially if it seems like they’re not suffering at all, you need to understand why that is in order to be able to recover yourself. Most times the person who is doing the dumping has had time to end the relationship in their minds long before they tell you. As such when you hear that your being dumped, your healing just begins.
7. DON’T STALK THEM ON SOCIAL MEDIA
It’s tempting but one of the worst things you could do. It’ll only keep thoughts of them fresh in your mind and keep you from moving on. You need to distract yourself, not let yourself obsess over what they’re doing 24/7. Block and delete their number. If you have kids with this ex, start sending emails until you are at the point where you can be civil.
8. REEVALUATE YOUR DEAL BREAKERS
This is step was eye-opening for me. You may not know what you want but you can start with what you DON’T want. Grab your journal and write down what are your total deal breakers, this will give you some perspective as to where you want your next relationship to go.
9. BURN/TRASH THEIR STUFF
I had a cleansing ritual with wine and cheese when I was packing up
10 LEAN ON YOUR FRIENDS.
That’s what they’re there for. Unless you ditched them during your relationship (and please tell me you didn’t do that!), they want to help to distract you, cheer you up, and help you move on. They want you to be happy and they’ll do whatever they can to help you get there.
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